Life
would be so much easier if the world was black and white and all issues had a
simple solution. Instead the world is a broken place and the past two days I
have been exposed to some of this brokenness. I’m still processing how I feel
after being exposed to prostitution in India so this post will be my feelings
at this point and will hopefully make sense.
We
started off our day by learning about the Mukta project that Pravara Medical
Trust started to promote awareness of HIV/AIDS to female sex workers (FSW) in
the community. They have really done some amazing things in building
relationships with the FSW, brothel owners, police, and community to make their
job safer. They promote the women getting screenings for HIV and other STIs as
well as getting medical check-ups regularly. They also helped them form a
community-based organization, which is comprised of the FSW and they are
attempting to be their own advocates to police, etc. to make sure they are
treated fairly in the community. The aim of the Mukta project is to make being
a FSW safer by having women tested and treated for STIs. The goal is not to
stop the prostitution, brothels, etc.. Instead the stance is that prostitution
is a profession like any other profession and it should be allowed to happen
because it is the woman’s choice to be in this profession.
This
is where I struggle and have a problem. In my mind prostitution will never be
ok. No woman who feels good about themselves and their body, who values herself
would sell her body. She may say while she is a prostitute that she is choosing
to do this because this gives her a sense of feeling in control, but it really
isn’t a chose. After talking with some of the staff we learned that most of the
women are in prostitution because they have no other way of making money. They
feel like this is the only skill that they have and way that they can provide
money for themselves or their families. Boyfriends, brothers, parents, etc.
also may have sold them and that is why they are currently a FSW.
As
I sat in across from women in a brothel I just didn’t know what I should be
feeling. We were talking to them and asking them questions like it was any
other profession and like this was a totally normal conversation to be having
between women in their mid 20s. We drank our pop as women came into the room
and left the room, as men walked by peering into the room. We asked them if
they ever saw their families and they responded that they sometimes got to go
home or else they just sent the money home, but that their families didn’t know
that they were FSW. They told them that there are in some other type of
business in the city. We sat with the brothel owner (a woman) and she laughed
and joked around with us. As we talked about STIs they insisted that they always
used condoms even if they were offered more money to not use one, that kissing
wasn’t allowed, only the actually act of sex. We finally had to leave because
there was a long line of customers waiting so as we left the room we were met
by the stares of men waiting to be with these girls.
I just stood and walked out numb and thought how can this be
ok? What about this situation and these women’s lives are normal? How can I go
about my day with the knowledge that these women have sex with up to 15 clients
per day? What can I actually do to change these women’s lives and make them
feel valued and worth anything? These are the types of questions that I have
been asking myself since spending time with them. We briefly learned their
names and ages, but never really heard much of their story. I already have
forgotten some of their faces, which is really hard. I want to remember them; I
want to remember this experience, because this was in my face brokenness of the
world. I just left with a feeling of helplessness, what could I do to improve
this situation? All that I can really do is to pray for these women and while
prayer is an amazing and powerful thing-in this situation it just doesn’t seem
like enough.
For myself to continue to go on with my life I have to find
the light in this situation. These women are getting tested and trying to
improve their health. Over 89% of the FSW in the city were seen at the Mukta
project last year. If the free government condoms are gone, women are coming to
buy their own. The women have started to advocate for their own rights and to
make sure that the laws in place are being followed. In India prostitution is
legal, but solicitation is illegal. So legally the women who are in
prostitution shouldn’t be punished, it is the brothel owners that are doing
illegal things. If the law is followed then the women are treated as victim,
not criminals, which is much better than the US. There are positive things
happening even in the midst of all of this brokenness.
Tuesday
we learned more about the community-based organization for the FSW and as I sat
their listening to them talk about it I was still angry about the situation.
They were discussing how a few brothels in the area had recently been shut down
by a raid and how the organization had been working to try and get those
brothels up and running again so the women who have a place to work. This
doesn’t make sense to me. Why not give these women the opportunity to learn a
different trade so they can feel more empowered and value themselves? I know
that it’s not as easy or simple as this, but I really wish it were. I do
understand that this is a very complicated issue with lots of different players
so that is why I sometimes wish it were a black and white issue, but instead it
is just a lot of grey.
We
then talked to members of the MSM (men having sex with men) community-based
organization. We discussed the issues that they are dealing with and trying to
advocate for. The main thing that they are trying to do is raise awareness
about HIV/AIDS and get the members of their community tested. It is a
misconception here that only FSW can get AIDS/HIV so they are working to
increase the awareness that everyone is at risk. They also are working to
change the laws in India that make it illegal for men to have sex with men.
They also asked us about what the gay community was like in the United States
and we just talked with them. They also showed us some traditional Indian
dancing and had us attempt to dance with them. We weren’t very good at this.
On
the car ride home we were discussing the day and discussing if MSM is the term
for the gay community in India or if it is only the term used for the male sex
workers. There was some disagreement amongst the group on the meaning because
we each had a different interpretation of what was translated to us. My
thinking was that MSM was the term for the gay community as a whole, but then I
got to thinking about what if it was only the term for the sex workers. Why
doesn’t male sex workers anger me as much as female? I think firstly it’s
because I identify with the women and I see them more as a victim where I see
the men as equals. This may be my ignorance and so I will freely admit that. I
also don’t know that much about male prostitution or how they get into the
trade. I feel like women are usually tricked into it where the men chose this
profession. Again I could be very wrong in my thinking, but I’m just being
honest. In talking with the men they said most of them were in the community
for the fun and the lifestyle. I never got the impression that they did
anything for the money or felt trapped.
After
two days of learning a lot about FSW and MSM these are my feelings. I hope that
I never forget the experience of being in a brothel. It scares me because I know
how easy it is to continue on with my day and my life and forget that feeling
as I left. The feeling of sitting next to women who are selling their bodies
and trying to pretend like it was ok and having to leave because there were
customers waiting. I will continue to pray for these women and the project that
the women will come to understand how precious and valuable they really are. I
wish they could just see how much they are needed in the world for things other
than their bodies.
